Maybe today isn’t the best day to update about my job because I am in a really crappy mood but I don’t want any more time to pass here goes. I’m supervising a chidlrne’s cousneling program within a dometic violence organization. The agency is great, very supportive of its staff, nice benefits, good people.  I don’t like it.

I came in insecure, frightened about doing counseling again after a ten year hiatus, and with two counselors who had applied for the job I was hired for. And coming in getting all triggered because of my own past of domestic violence. It was a miserable first few months. My program is an offsite program so it’s just me, two counselors I supervise and a child care worker. I made some critical mistakes which basically undermined my authority as supervisor. And then my supervisor gets pregnant. It’s a little better now, the two counselors giving me the most grief have moved on, 1 to a promotion and 1 out of the agency.  But some of the damage is done. Basically I’m supervising two persons now who have this percetion that I keep myself too apart and that I’m not “clinical enough” because I only have the LMSW not the more clinical LCSW. Yesterday there was a staff event and I was pretty much alone and barely talking much. The fact that it was an open soft bar in a pub and the weather was suprisingly warm and I was overdressed also added to the general lonlieness and discomfort.

I miss busy hectic community based environments.  I miss working with multiple disciplines instead of muddling my way through clinical supervision and counseling. I miss creating programs and developing instuments to measure effectiveness. I miss grant writing and coordinating events.

I’m  putting my resume out there but the market is crappy and the salaries are lower than mine and with Mikey out of work I can’t afford a pay cut. After a dry spell, I had a couple of interviews last week but the more promising one would require a pay cut and  I told them no thanks but they recontacted me saying that they’re revisiting the salary so i’m giving them another shot this week.

I know that in the end what will make me happy is to go back to school and find my passion again whether it is in divinity, public health, public affairs or a combination thereof but right now I need to keep my employment steady until Mikey’s unemployment ends or find a job that gives of enough cushion for Mikey to become a full time house husband and/or student