Our daily status can be summed up in these few sentences:
- real estate not going well for Mikey. Its the physical demands of doing rentals in New York. Arthritis is really doing a number on her ankles
- I’m going for a promotion at work but it is very slow going. I interviewed last month and they still haven’t finished the first round of interviews.
- Finding a job here for either of us is really hard
- The bills are getting tight and the end of unemployment is near
- We’re both looking at school, continuing ed, computer classes for Mikey, changing careers
So I had an impromptu visit to the beach and among the sand and surf I just started brainstorming. What’s next for my family of two? Not the family of maybe three, WHAT TO DO WITH MY FAMILY OF TWO? Are we tied to our city? What keeps us here? Our family is scattered in two states and one commonwealth. I think about other climates, slower pace of living, a housing market in which my good credit can actually afford something more than a studio co-op. I think of cheaper seminaries than the ones here in NYC or maybe just checking out of the real world and go back to FULL TIME STUDENT status with Mikey. I spoke with Mikey and she’s decided to let go of fear and take the leap of at least exploring. I’ve decided to let go of my resistance of possibly being nearer to family.
So looking at the map we are looking at:
The Same Sex Six: States that allow us to get married: IA, MA, CT, NH, VT and ME
The Family State: Florida (Southern). I want Miami or Tampa area. Mikey of course wants Ft. Lauderdale to be close to her mom and thinks Miami is too humid. I’m open to Ft. Lauderdale if its the gayborhood of Wilton Manors if she’s open to Miami.
The “Just Because” areas: Bay Area California, MD/DC Area (nope won’t do VA) and because we are crazy the purple/blueish area of the triangle of Raleigh, Durham and Chapel Hill, North Carolina.
Those who live in the areas above: I need intel. Gay community? Housing? Jobs in social work? Jobs in general? Ecunemical, left wing seminaries anywhere near? Wanna copy of our resumes to look at? HAHAHAHA!
Those who live in areas not mentioned above: Should we add your area to the list?
Well..of course I’m partial to MA, mine and S.’s home state that we moved back to 3 years ago. We are legally married here, of course, and W.Mass in particular is ridiculously gay friendly (NoHo being the lesbian capital of the Northeast or some such crazy title). As far as divinity schools go, I don’t know–but I do know that there are many liberal churches here, and there is Yale Divinity School in nearby (relatively speaking) New Haven, CT.
Just my two cents!
I love Maine. And would so so so much love to have you both here. And there’s a thriving (if small but vocal) butch femme community. I worry that you would feel it was really really really white. Which it is. But that’s changing too (slowly) and it might be ok to be on the edge of that growth here.
Winters are not so much fun, but summers where no a/c is necessary makes up for it.
I’ve never even been to the US so I’m no help at all, but good luck deciding!
Oh, exciting! I love all-options-on-the-table, big changes! Of those states, I’ve lived in MA (spent almost all my life there). I love it with all my heart – it’s such a beautiful, compact state with so much to offer. I don’t know about seminaries though…
Keep us updated on your decision making process!
Just found your blog.
The all options on the table moments are scary as hell. I live in NJ, is that a possibility? What kind of job are you interested in?
I lived in north central Jersey for 11 years and I’m a Rutgers alum. Unfortunatley the places I like in Jersey are places I can’t afford: Highland park, Convent Station, Montclair Hoboken. Are you from a different area. Asbury park is nice too.
I’m in social work administration. Not a therapist
Well, you have certainly given yourself a lot of choices!
I was born in NH, loved growing up there but moved away 20 plus years ago. I would go back in a heartbeat, it is beautiful, but ALL of my family have moved away, so there is nothing to take me back there. I also don’t think I could handle the winters after being in the Mid Atlantic for so long. I am no longer a fan of the cold and snow!
Which brings me to MD/DC. I have been here since 1986 and, while it is not a bad place to live, there are some reasons I don’t like it. The humidity would #1, year round sinus problems is another. For some reason this area seems to cause allergies and sinus issues, I have never had problems before moving here. As for employment opportunities, it could be rough right now.
While the housing market has fared better than some areas it is still in a slump. Some areas are outrageously expensive (just about anything around the DC beltway, as well as, some parts of Howard, Hartford and Baltimore counties), while other areas are, well, still fairly rural. If you are willing to travel up to an hour one way for work, in sometimes ugly traffic, you could probably find a very nice, inexpensive (relatively) home to purchase, in a decent area.
There is a fairly large gay community here, with two major cities to choose from. Baltimore has fewer options for going out and recently lost the only “female only” bar (though the rumor is it will be re-opening soon under new management.) Both cities have been stunned by several recent incidents of “gay bashing” but usually there is not much concern for safety. Baltimore’s “gay” section is in a rich, cultural and historical area of the city that is typically thought to be safe, as far as a city area can be.
I no very little about the seminaries here, but hope my other info helps…
And not to leave out FL, I have visited many times, have had relatives there for 20 years. I know I couldn’t stand the heat and humidity all year long. Also consider the lack of “gay friendly” legislation, they are actually moving backward in some areas. Not to mention a ridiculously poor health care network. My Mom has been wavering for years on moving there, but as a Labor & Delivery nurse, she has found little to no job opportunities. We are currently dealing with the inept hospitals and doctor’s about the care (or lack there of) they have been providing my grandparents’.