I am trying to get back into this whole blogging thing but since so much has happened I’ll have to start with the infamous bullet points post:
- Congrats new babies at Scarred Bellybutton and A Little Pregnant
- Thank the Creator over a happy “no diabetes” at Hydrangeas are Pretty
- An normal BFP and ultrasound at Cali’s
- The Roundup Extravangaza over at Lollipop’s. Thank you for writing a nice comment on my posts!
- Lastly, a great post over at Coming to Terms. Great enough to slowly dip myself back into the blogging pool.
I have been a faithful reader of the blogs to the right (and many more on my reader) for a few years now. And lately I just seemed to have lost focus on why I started blogging. I started blogging to keep up with the wonderful persons I have met on the TTC journey. And now I feel like I woke up to find that all this time I thought I was walking with them I was in reality in a hamster wheel twirling away. Sometimes I am reading blogs and the persons I was walking with not only have their first but now a second. That the first pregnancy test post is now going to preschool.
I changed my focus. I was infertile and needed a new space to heal and grieve. I created a new user name and a new blog name. And then proceeded to talk about everything else but my infertility. Oh sure I read and reviewed a book and had my rants on bad infertility topics but have I really grieved? Have I really transformed this blog? Or is there a part of me that thinks if I talk about my family, my job, couples therapy, etc I could somehow pretend this isn’t an infertility blog?
I have been feeling so overwhelmed by all the posts in my head that I had to run away from my blog. And now I know why. I am running out of things to talk about. I want to keep throwing topics hoping that i can avoid the real deal. I need to throw it all out here because if I can’t do that, why even blog?
bit. I need to immerse myself myself in the mess so i can then walk away from it move on for real and then we can talk about anything else. Unless its about my infertility I won’t post. The twittering will keep going.
TTYS
sending you a lot of love…
i am here to listen and be here in the grieving and sadness. i have good shoulders, too…
(((((sophia)))))
love,
gypsy
hard, brave, work.
love you sweetie.
so much
xo
Well, I think you should take the time and space that you need to do what you have to do. Don’t feel pressured to blog. That’s the worst feeling. When your ready, you’ll grieve in the way that works best for you.xo
Thank you for your good wishes.
I’m sorry you’ve had more than your share of shitty stuff happening, the end of ttc, the pg boss, it’s too much. I want to find words to convey my empathy and support to you, but I’m struggling to do so. Know that I am thinking of you and wishing you only the best.