In about a half hour, blogs including my own will be participating in Blogging for LGBT Families

My first reaction to this was to think “What do I have to say about this…we have no baby.” And I realized that phrase came from an unhealthy place in my psyche: a combination of the remnants of alcoholism, depression and the battering my self-esteem has taken after 10 failed cycles. After kicking my inner demons to the curb, here I am trying to say something poignant and relevant.

I could rant about the unfairness of New York Law and FDA regulations that prevent wonderful gay men such as Boricua College Boy donate to sperm banks or directed donor programs. How the same laws limits which sperm gets delivered to my state. I could whine about being a subgroup within a subgroup: a queer woman navigating the heterosexist fertility world and now to find myself within a smaller queer infertile circle. (There I said it. Infertile. *shudder*)

But enough about me. Let’s talk about this wonderful person who has chosen to love me for the rest of our lives. She’s fussing with papers on the dining room table. She can simultaneously annoy me and make me fall deeper in love. Whatever happens in our Journey to an Ewok, I never want to forget the overriding reason we are on this path: the love we have for each other. If God decides a different path for us I can never forget that right now at this moment we are a family. A family that is entitled to the same love, respect and protection as all families. That means the right to marry, the right to NOT have to go through extra expensive legal maneuvers to be declared parents or to make sure we can see each other in the hospital or some of the other 1000+ rights my heterosexual friends receive when the marriage license is spit out of a printer.

Reverend Nancy Wilson, the new moderator of Metropolitan Community Churches, spoke at our midweek services. She spoke about families. Right now, many states will not allow LGBT persons to adopt. How many more children would be out of the system if these states opened their minds and hearts to the LGBT community? Right now, Europeans are adopting children from the United States because agencies cannot find enough adoptive families here. The highest rate of divorce by subgroup is among Evangelical Christians. The reality is in the circles that promote narrow, heterosexist family values, there is a disconnect on what is being held up as the ideal and what people are really doing. There is even a disconnect in most marriage ceremonies: How many straight weddings use the Bible passage from Ruth in which Ruth pledges her love and loyalty to another woman, Naomi?!

Slowly but surely, people are beginning to see this disconnect and inch towards a right relationship with our Creator. And that right relationship is defined simply as: God is love. God loved us before we were even born. Whereever there is love and justice, there is the presence of God. And every day I live I will do my part to have this world come into right relationship with God. For me, for my family now, my future family and all families. Whatever the configuration.