The ideal blue movie

I know that I am opening myself up to nasty spammers but its in my head and needs to leave. Thanks to friends and an honest discussion about s.e.x. with Mikey. I have been exploring the world of online porn.

I ‘ll give the spammers time to register my IP address.

And while I’ve been able to use these sites for a little quality time for myself I find myself criticizing well everything about these movies. Its gotten to the point where its killing the mood.

Today I thought about what would be the ideal movie for me. So if I was a producer and director of porn:

Men’s body hair would be limited to a well trimmed crotch bush and underarms.

Women would have no implants, be at least a size 8-10, have normal length nails and no genital piercings (sorry I find them a turn off) What woemn will have is a regular BIKINI WAX! What’s with all the nude vajayjays?

Oral sex (both parties) would be limited to 5 minutes total. Again I find this boring.

Unless it’s a BDSM scene, there will no using hair as a leash or putting persons in a chokehold.

I like seeing the whole body; none of these close up shots of intercourse. I also react to sounds of sex. I mean realistic moaning and groaning and squeaking furniture. NO CHEESY MUSIC!

And finally, could we please please have a video in which the “money shot” happens IN THE VAJAYJAY!!!

Thank you that is all.

Anniversaries

NYC Pride 2009 was absolutely great but man oh man I am not a fit woman. I was wasted by the end of the evening and pushed myself way too hard to the point that I became sick. At a busy street. Sorry tree.

It took my back to past Prides where I spent the wee hours of the morning dehydrated, dry heaving after another night of drinking and drugging. But that’s not my life anymore. It hasn’t been since June 29 1997. 12 years ago I was taken to a meeting, dirty, hungover and began my road to a life while not perfect I would not trade for anything in the world.

Saturday Mikey and I were hanging out with friends and while I was laughing at the silliness, I had to marvel on how Mikey, even in her years of living and loving in the big bad city, could still retain an optimism, a lack of malice and just a basically good outlook on the world and humanity. It was this that drew me to her, a desire for sunshine in the dark jaded viewpoint I tend to favor and I’m so glad that on June, 29, 2003, we exchanged rings to vow to share the best part of ourselves for the rest of our lives.

When

Somewhere around July 18th, start the prayers/thoughts/candle burning/animal sacrifices (kidding).

I predict that will be my next CD1 in which I will go into Alma Mater Clinic and begin IVF the Third.

And my donate buttons are still up there for any help you can give

Thanks

Decision

I woke up this morning and as I tried to get ready to go for the bloodwork I had an epiphany:

I don’t like Big Clinic

the location is crap from work and home
the doctor was nice but so pessimistic
EPP isn’t the miracle protocol.

Monday I call Alma Mater Clinic and ask them if we can start in my July cycle

then I went back to sleep till 11am.

Repost

repost from http://one-hoopy-frood.livejournal.com/10678.html

If you are reading this right now, you have more luxury than someone in Iran could ever hope for right now. If you are watching TV or a video on youtube, updating your status on Facebook, Tweeting, or even texting your friend, you are lucky. If you are safe in your home, and were able to sleep last night without the sounds of screaming from the rooftops, you need to know and understand what is happening to people just like you in Iran right now.

They are not the enemy. They are a people whose election has been stolen. For the first time in a long time, a voice for change struck the youth of Iran, just as it did for many people in the United States only seven months ago. Hossein Mousavi gained the support of millions of people in Iran as a Presidential candidate. He stands for progressiveness. He supports good relations with the West, and the rest of the world. He is supported with fervor as he challenges the oppressive regime of Mahmoud Ahmadinejad.

On Friday, millions of people waited for hours in line to vote in Iran’s Presidential election. Later that night, as votes came in, Mousavi was alerted that he was winning by a two-thirds margin. Then there was a change. Suddenly, it was Ahmadinejad who had 68% of the vote – in areas which have been firmly against his political party, he overwhelmingly won. Within three hours, millions of votes were supposedly counted – the victor was Ahmadinejad. Immediately fraud was suspected – there was no way he could have won by this great a margin with such oppposition. Since then, reports have been coming in of burned ballots, or in some cases numbers being given without any being counted at all. None of this is confirmed, but what happened next seems to do the trick.

The people of Iran took the streets and rooftops. They shout “Death to the dictator” and “Allah o akbar.” They join together to protest. Peacefully. The police attack some, but they stay strong. Riots happen, and the shouting continues all night. Text messaging was disabled, as was satellite, and websites which can spread information such as Twitter, Facebook, Youtube, and the BBC are blocked in the country. At five in the morning, Arabic speaking soldiers (the people of Iran speak Farsi) stormed a university in the capital city of Tehran. While sleeping in their dormitories, five students were killed. Others were wounded. These soldiers are thought to have been brought in by Ahmadinejad from Lebanon. Today, 192 of the university’s faculty have resigned in protest.

Mousavi requested that the government allow a peaceful rally to occur this morning – the request was denied. Many thought that it would not happen. Nevertheless, first a few thousand people showed up in the streets of Tehran. At this point, it is estimated that 1 to 2 million people were there. Mousavi spoke on the top of a car. The police stood by. For a few hours, everything was peaceful. Right now, the same cannot be said. Reports of injuries, shootings, and killings are flooding the internet. Twitter has been an invaluable source – those in Iran who still know how to access it are updating regularly with picture evidence. People are being brutally beaten. Tonight will be another night without rest for so many in Iran no older than I am. Tonight there is a Green Revolution.

For more information:
PICTURES:
here and here
NEW INFORMATION:
Here – near constant updates
Here – ONTD_political live post
ON TWITTER:
@StopAhmadi, @ProtesterHelp

دنیارابگوییدچطورآنهاانتخاباتمان دزدیده اند
Tell the world how they have stolen our election

- original post by one_hoopy_frood

</div></div>

Repost

i realize now i do not fear death… i fear my daughter will not be free when i die

 

- From the Twitter of an Iranian medical student

 

“If it bothers you so much, then why don’t you stop watching?” seems to be the question of the last few days from my friends and family who know how invested I have become in the cause of the Iranian people (as I have explained in great detail here) The answer is simple: one day of caring is not enough. We must be the voice for the people of Iran who would otherwise be silenced. They are without reliable news sources, they are without mobile phone calls, text messaging, facebook, twitter, youtube, AIM, Yahoo, Google, and pretty much every other useful outlet for information you can think of. Yet they persist on the streets and on the internet in any way they can. The least we can do, whether we are across continents, oceans, or time zones, is spread their words safely.

My death is irrelevant.Wht is important is that u do not forget my words.We want freedom.i will die 4that

 

- From the Twitter of a protester in Tehran

 

Right now, brave men and women in Iran, both young and old, are sacrificing their lives for their voices to be heard. They must fear not only the police, but also the Basij -a force of men loyal to the government who plant themselves among crowds in plain clothes in order to discretely attack protesters and incite chaos.The protesters are peaceful. They mass together in crowds that are reported to grow in size every day. At night they have very few, if any, safe places to stay. Houses with satelite dishes were attacked by the Basij tonight, and during the 50 minutes of Twitter’s maintenance, another university was attacked.

140 characters is a novel when you’re being shot at.

 

- From another Iranian Twitter

 

WHAT CAN YOU DO TO HELP?

 

1. The most obvious thing to do is stay informed. Keep an eye on reliable sources on Twitter, refresh blogs and news sites that are covering the stories.
2. If you are on twitter, retweet information from reliable twitters, but REMOVE THE USERNAME if they are in Iran. People have died because of the lack of responsibility by fellow tweeters and the media in this front. They can be tracked down by the government of Iran.
3. Spread the information elsewhere. Repost this article or write your own on Facebook, Myspace, Tumblr, or anywhere else you can think of. If you write your own, make sure you are concise and accurate. Link to your sources for people to learn more.
4. Change your location on Twitter to Tehran or Iran, and your time zone to GMT +3:30.
5. DO NOT auto-refresh and take down websites, even if you are asked. It slows down the internet for the rest of the people in Iran.
6. If you make a proxy DO NOT post it publically, otherwise it is useless. Send it in a direct message to a trusted source.
7. DO NOT spam the hash tag #IranElection with useless things to “confuse the government”. This does not help at all.

USEFUL SITES TO FURTHER HELP

 

Cyber War Guide for Iran Elections

 

Green Revolution – How to Help

 

Anonymous – Why We Protest – Iran

 

STAY INFORMED!

 

Follow on Twitter: @ProtesterHelp and @StopAhmadi

 

(REMINDER: DO NOT REPOST PERSONAL TWITTERS OF THOSE INSIDE THE COUNTRY, EVEN IF THEY ARE RELIABLE!)

 

Chronology of events

 

Live-blogging by Andrew Sullivan

 

General information from a poser on Fark.com

 

Live-blogging on HuffingtonPost

دنیارابگوییدچطورآنهاانتخاباتمان دزدیده اند
Tell the world how they have stolen our election

- original article by one_hoopy_frood on LJ

le post de bullette

Sans bullette cuz I don’t know how to do it on my crackberry.

Work crazy. I have double the caseload recommended.

Mikey finishing real estate school and will concentrate on rentals which are holding steady in nyc.

While I will finish the consult process with Big Clinic I’m leaning on going back to Alma Mater. Getting more info on the clomid/stims protocol and it sounds promising.

Plan b, c and d include applying to reality show (tbl), seminary,and l@p band.

Our choir is performing with the Stonewall chorale tomorrow w00t!

Brooklyn Pride anyone?

My gay husband is proposing a deal: he got money but bad credit due to his past (which is my past too, btw). I got credit but no money. So could we combine forces to buy something as an investment property? Two family house? Vacation place in fl near the not in laws. We’re mullling it over.

Need Rewind button on my day

resting after a very busy Pride weekend. I went with a group to Staten Island Pride which was interesting. Short, really quiet with stretches of marching on residential streets with no one watching.

today my pastor was the grand marshal of Queens Pride and the choir performed at the fetival which was crowded hot noisy and on a too narrow street. And after we were done I stopped at a corner to fish a scrunchie out of my purse and hung my purse on a parking meter. Five blocks later, the realization hit:

no purse.

keys (including office keys, church keys and house keys)

wallet: (cash, driver’s license, 2 debit cards, 1 credit card, 1 store card, insurance cards. some discount cards)

asthma pump

flashlight

t.ide stick

but the most heartbreaking of all

 my make up bag with my one luxury: a bunch of M@C makeup (blush, powder, base, mascara, lip liner, blush) and some cheapie eyeshadow, concealer)

The blessing: I had put the crackberry and the transit card in my bra.

tomorrow the walk of shame to police precinct for lost report, DMV for license, and bank for cash

as house keys and license were together Mikey spent 60 dollars to buy a new lock and the friend we were hanging with installed it.

Not what we had in mind for a post Pride frivolity but Mikey was terrified that we would come home to no cat, no stereo and no laptop.

And then Mikey’s tooth broke while eating brie. Dentist tomorrow.

Happy Pride Month!

A Dream Still Deferred

My posts have evolved from my last three here, here and here. I began as a woman struggling with infertility declaring the unfairness of the laws are for my partner and our projected children. Then the next two posts show my transition as I come to acceptance that my type of infertility may not never be resolved with a live baby. I’ve spoken on being invisible because LGBT folk aren’t expected to have children and the bulk of infertility resources assume heterosexuality. I’ve spoken about the bittersweetness of watching persons I’ve started on this journey with have Child 1 and Child 2. I’ve spoken on how much I love my IVPeeps and their photos and posts bring me joy.

So what’s the new angle? In the next five minutes.

In a Mircrosoft Word file I have a bunch of notes: “Empire Waist with sweetheart bodice”  “My Scorpio charm, my father’s cross” “Come in to ‘I only want to be with you’. Leave to ‘Ahora Seremos Felices’ (Now we will be happy). Pastries and a giant brownie. Soft bar. First dance: “Te Adoro” (I Adore You)

These are notes of course on my legal in New York Wedding. The wedding that right now feels so close I can taste it but then I hear a radio ad from NOM (no i won’t link to them) and I get shaken from my reverie and try to find comfort that at least I have a domestic partnership. At least I can put Mikey on my insurance after her layoff even if I have to pay dearly for the privilege.

And I cry when I think of my friends in NY who have little ones to think about and while we have recognition of out of state marriages it feels like we’re being confined to approved areas. The minute we cross the line to an unfriendly state our marriage may mean nothing to the powers to be. And recognition in NY and marriage in some states is nothing when Washinton DC won’t recongnize us.

But to end with cheerleading: WE HAVE THE POWER OF RIGHT ON OUR SIDE. Despite the forgotten promises of the leaders we put in office we have the overwhleming power of justice on our side. And never underestimate the power of the voices of children, queers and the ones who support us.

rage and fear

Rage about the prop 8 ruling. We went to the rally in nyc Tuesday night where thanks to CBST,I got to carry a cool sign saying God loves Queers. Many people took pictures of me.

Fear as I sit in the waiting room at Big Clinic. The RE I am seeing is nice, a woman,nagged about my weight (I know!) We had a long talk where I explained how lesbians use condoms (!) And the litany of ttc disasters from 2004 to the present. At one point she said that she was reviewing the info “with consternation” because it seems I’ve tried everything and was wondering what I hoped to get out of big clinic. On paper, co culture seems a long shot since I have not made enough embryos to be able to do it.

Clinic is sooo luxurious! Kinda intimidating. RE(I needs a nickname) did an ultrasound and I’m waiting to speak with her. The only thing she mentioned were I have 2 uterine fibroids and an observation about a thin lining. Left ovary was persnickety forcing RE to maneuver the dildocam till I about hit the ceiling

The word: pessimism. She doesn’t have records but from info given I’m in ovarian failure and even the EPP may not be anything that would make a difference. She recommends donor eggs or adoption. Final word when she gets my records